i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
my god I love twenty year old dicks
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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