I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
