i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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