Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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