worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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