So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
