I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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