He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
