Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
