butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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