I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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