Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Can I color on your dick again?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize