This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
