I think im going to throw up on grandma
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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