Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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