If i come over, it means nothing
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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