dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
