***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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