OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
