Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
