Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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