Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
sex in a hospital.. check
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
