For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
