It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
