on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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