Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
