I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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