butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
