i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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