I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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