Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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