that's an acceptable place to lick
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
