o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize