she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
