in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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