shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
