i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
