He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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