I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
