do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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