Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
