I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
