I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I skipped work to stalk him.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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