I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
