those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
