I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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