he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
