oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
