Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
