we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
