Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We're too hungover to prance.
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