He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
