i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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