I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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