I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
