kristin has been a bad kristin
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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