separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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